JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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