I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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