What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
3pm strippers are depressing
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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