did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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