I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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