all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
