It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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