It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
