4 words: hood of his car
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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