I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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