I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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