You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
