Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
