these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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