Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize