is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
