So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i think i have herpe
just one?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
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