And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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