K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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