she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
