I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
