You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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