i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
