remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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