I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
