that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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