there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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