That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
