dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
