I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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