his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
