Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
