Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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