i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
