id be glad to
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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