I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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