Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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