I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
