you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
