we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
