Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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