I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
