I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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