lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
