I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
