My brain says no but my pants say off.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
