New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
