Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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