So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I intend to get homeless drunk
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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