I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
