She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
