I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm like, not good at living.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
