i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
This toilet bowl is my home.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
