It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
