chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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