dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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