just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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