I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
