Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
