Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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