Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
