So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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