Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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