Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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