im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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