If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
