He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
