Say something about gay babies.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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