My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
