I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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