i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
