my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
