So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize