doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
