so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
