So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
